Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

The Virtuous Spiral of the Gamma-Chad

I know you will all be shocked about this, but against all probabilities, the Gamma-Chad, stripe-chested, ShadoHand has yet to be vanquished.

I mean, he started a giant thread on SG while he also began deleting all his comments, and in that thread he denigrated and tried to humiliate people that had literally put a GiveSendGo together to keep said ShadoHand from becoming homeless. So, after that inimitable display of gratitude he was unceremoniously booted from SG.

The thread commenting on the last post I did on this stripe-chested phenomenon at SG is quite hilarious too and also became quite voluminous, and I think may still be going.

But would a simple banning get in the way of ShadoHand? Never!

So he came back here, apparently totally oblivious of his own deep fetish for public humiliation, and commented. He took great exception for some reason to the comment made by Tarcisus:

But don’t worry, it wasn’t a completely unhinged comment or anything that he responded with:

I mean, you can see the direct flow and congruency, can’t you?

And so, I confess, we must obviously recognise the superior absolutely non-Gamma nature of ShadoHand. I therefore, respond for both myself, and for Tarcisius, with a background of Gold, for our not at all secret King Shado-he-of-the-Hand:

Well, Tarcisius, I hope you learnt your lesson! Making children is a Gamma trait according to the ever wise and stripe-chested ShadoHand! What can we do friend, Perhaps we need to start our own Gamma recovery programme. But how, o HOW will we manage it without the wisdom of this obvious Chad-Alpha-Sigma-Double Zeta to lead us? And without weighted backpacks on steel bicycles with four cold showers? Oh life is pain, we will never achieve such heights. We may as well resign ourselves to making more children with pretty women that love us; we can’t all be like the Giga-Chad ShadoHand, who uses his Hand so fast, and all the time, that it’s his own Shado he copulates with, perennially, in the true honourable fashion of the Master Race (if short-lived) of MGTOW!

Behold the glory of ShadoHand, rejecting the women even as they applaud him! And don’t be fooled by his beard, since he says beards are Gamma, this was unavoidable, when he crossed the Sahara on his bicycle in only 40 hours, his beard grows faster because of all the pent up brilliance.

    Educating Gammas

    In a SHOCKING turn of events, the gamma I posted about in the last post went ahead and commented on it.

    In the interest of Gamma Education and General Entertainment, let us gently and Kurganly dissect the comment and related behaviour. For science, you understand. And your general amusement as well as mine.

    Yeah. So I used to train CrossFit everyday, and ride my bike 30 miles+ a day in all weather conditions. Took 4 cold showers a day too. Also had a six pack and striations in my chest.

    The Gamma wants us to know he cycles. He is clearly on the way to working his way to double Sigma though, because he does not mention in excruciating detail and 14 paragraphs why wearing cyclist clothing is Alpha and why their helmets are the sexiest helmets.

    Why he thinks telling me about his six pack, and whatever striations in his chest are is of any relevance to me or anyone else, except possibly Chuck Tingle of Hugo Award fame, is beyond me, but the Gamma also wants me to know he takes 4 cold showers a day. Is this to let me know how often he has to quench his ardour when he thinks about me? I am sure I prefer not to know.

    Yet that’s not Delta? That’s…..Gamma? Okay.

    Our Gamma ShadoHand seems to think doing physical exercise automatically makes him a Delta. Apparently totally oblivious to the fact that Deltas would go to the gym for themselves, and not even think of stating their routine as some form of posturing. So you cycle, so you CrossFit (if that’s not a red flag I don’t know what is!), so you shower, errr…. how can put this as delicately as possible: Who the fuck cares? And why do you think ANYONE cares at all? Why? And why do you think being a Gamma precludes you from cycling? Or showing, or skipping rope and playing hopscotch for that matter?

    I love how I busted your balls a little and you made a post about it. It’s literally 666kb when viewed on my laptop web browser. Not in the download drop down, but on the actual payhip download page.

    Reading comprehension among Gammas is low, much like in scorned women. He is incapable of grasping the basic concept that the post was about his gaminess and his little attempt at “humour” was already a clear indicator of his place in the SSH. The usual “plausible denial” (if you’re retarded) in order to try and show what a smartboi(tm) you are. Which was replied to in humorous fashion and that would be the end of it. Except, to no one’s surprise, the Gamma can never not have the last word. Except when it shows him up, which is why he has since deleted that thread on SG.

    The point is, WHO CARES about the 666kb your browser shows…. oh seriously, who the fuck cares? No one. The ONLY purpose of making that comment was to “plausibly deny” the validity or nature or general positive aspect of the book. A book he bought and presumably wanted to read to improve his lot in life, which, in case it was not clear before, is a desert of intimacy only raging Gamma incels experience. And all I am doing here and in the last post is showing people something Uncle John’s Band described that is a useful skill for those who can do it: Single data point pattern recognition. And I am showing all the steps because I have weird hobbies, and deconstructing the unconscious motivations of other humans is interesting to me, which one might have guessed if one was observant enough to see I spent years researching, studying and learning about the human mind and practicing clinical hypnosis. So, rejoice, you have now come to the attention of the interested Kurgan eyes. Enjoy the warmth.

    Also I’ve run so fast on a treadmill I’ve broken them at multiple gyms. I also got banned from planet fitness for running too fast on the treadmill. I have video evidence of the latter. But that’s Gamma? Okay partner.

    HE RUNS FAST, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! And showers! And Cycles! And probably puts his pants on one leg at a time! Be impressed, men! Be Swooned, ladies!

    And, OH MAH GAWD… he’s a veritable REBEL! Banned you see, BANNED from Planet Fitness! for running like the Flash! And… (drumroll please)

    HE HAS VIDEO EVIDENCE!!!!

    Can you contain yourself ladies? Can you? Are you not all clapping and throwing your panties at the imaginary stage the imaginary secret king is standing on, with striated chest and Sixpack and four cold shower jets spraying at him while he cycles on a standing bike on top of a treadmill?

    I know, I know, he’s irresistible. And don’t forget, he doesn’t tip waitresses. He’s too manly for that.

      Gamma Rage Spiral

      This is literally making me burst out into spontaneous laughter for a few seconds whenever I think of it, so I wanted to share the joy.

      Please read this post at Sigma Game to have the best reaction.

      Then read this screenshot from the comments on that post.

      Keep in mind this guy is the same one that did this a few days ago, and I had no idea who the Sigma Game post was about as I had not read the comments on the related post.

      And my response:

      But he’s not a Gamma ladies and gentlemen, he’s obviously an Alpha-Sigma Double Zeta. Or perhaps it got to 666Kb and he is now possessed! In which case I suggest exorcism, self-flagellation and regular lifting of weights in the Gym for at least a year along with the full confession and baptism. I am sure he’ll get right on it without complaint!

      Look, I am grateful the guy bought a book, of course, but I sincerely would be even happier if he read it and used it and evolved to a Delta using the links in it to the Graduating Gamma series of posts archived here.

        The Flatulent Warnings of Macaroon

        Mommy’s boy “president” Macron, has been doing what mommy’s boys in playgrounds where their mommy is also their teacher, have been doing forever: He’s been shooting his mouth of as if he was some big, tough, schoolyard manly, man.

        The reality, of course is that the only reason no one has bitchslapped him and then flushed his head into the nearest urinal/toilet while giving him an atomic wedgie, is purely because Mommy (the USA) is looking over the playground. But the fact is that Mommy is tired, and has the principal looking over her shoulder (Israel) who has had quite enough of Emannule, or Emmy, as he is known to everyone in the playground, because mommy’s boy is a blusterful, emotional, effemminate little runt, that has only ever been seen kissing mommy, and holding hands with some of the immigrant boys that live near the school, but never an actual girl.

        And at least one of the other teachers is not best pleased with Emmy. And hasn’t been for a long time, at least since 2018 when she complained about Emmy’s behaviour and choice of friends from outside the school grounds that he brought into the cafeteria that one time.

        The problem is that there is this new exchange student in the school. From Moscow. He’s a patient kid. Took the bullying egged on by the principal of all people, in stride. Got pushed around a bit by a Ukrainian kid who just kept harassing the Russian boy for a long while. And always egged on by the principal of all people. Turns out the Principal hates Russians. A long story about some Russians holding their ground back in his grandfather’s day or something. Anyway, eventually the Russian kid had enough and kicked the shit out of the Ukrainian kid.

        The Principal made it known he would do nothing if any of the kids in school were to teach that Russian kid a lesson, but the problem is that the Russian kid was picked up by his dad that day and his dad had bright blue eyes that looked very intense, like he’d been in wars, and he had. And he had a weird tattoo on one forearm that said Hypersonic and on the other that said NukeSubs in your Port. It’s odd tats to have, to be sure, but the thing is he glanced at the Principal of the school when he picked his kid up, and since then the principal has been very quiet about pretty much everything.

        And now Emmy is shooting his mouth off, saying he can beat that Russian up, and he isn’t afraid of no Ivans, and blah, blah, blah.

        In the meantime, the Russian kid is now going up to each of the bullies that stole his lunch money from him and some of the other smaller kids too and having a bit of a look. He goes up to them with the Ukrainian kid in tow, who just keeps his eyes down now and does whatever the Russia kid tells him. And now he’s looking at this big stupid girl called Moldova, who has been harassing the crap out of this little girl calle Trini Sinistra, and the Russian kid looks at Moldova, then he slaps the Ukrainian boy right in the mouth and says “Odessa. Move it”. And the Ukrainian kid you can see really doesn’t want to but is going to take off his watch, that is an Odessa brand apparently. And the Russian kid keeps looking at Moldova, daring her to do or say anything. And there are a few other kids now following the Russian kid, hoping that the Russian kid and this other big, quiet Chinese guy who seems to be his friend, might help them get their shit back from the Principal’s office, which got confiscated over the years.

        And there is Emmy, shooting his mouth off, thinking his aging Mommy will protect him while she breast-feeds him like she does every night, even though he is 13.

        Well, it’s not really going to work out so good for Emmy. Everyone can see it but him. Even Mommy can, most likely. But she’s getting on a bit and is tired, and she doesn’t have it in her anymore to fight all his battles. it’s all she can do to keep breastfeeding him and telling him he’s her special boy. And she falls asleep every night she starts to think maybe it will be fine, maybe she won’t wake up anymore. Problem is, at the rate he’s going, Emmy might get a bloody nose. Well, she’d think maybe it would even do him some good, but who’s she kidding, she knows, it won’t. She knows Emmy is gay, always has been. Born that way. He can’t help it, and he’ll never be one of the big boys he so desperately wants to belong to. Well maybe he’ll get lucky. Maybe one of the immigrant bigger kids will take him on and marry him after she goes for the long sleep. That’s her hope anyway.

        Her only hope.

          If you know, you know.

          Taken from the twitter of Don Ackle

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