Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Hilarious Because True

This is one of the best short YT Videos I have seen in recent memory.

    Table Manners

    We’re all having breakfast and the little Viking has one hand down his pants.

    Me: What’s wrong son, why have you got your hand in your pants at the table.

    Little Viking: (looks up at me with a kind of concern, I can tell he’s hesitant to say).

    Me: Is something wrong? Your willy sore or something?

    LV: No.

    Then why have you got your hand in your pants at the table, son, you know that’s not right.

    LV: Dad, because my willy is sticking to my balls.

    I’m not sure the ensuing laughter from the entire table was the socially appropriate response, but oh well, I can’t wait until he is accused later in life of manspreading. It will be another proud family day.

    And today he drew me a picture that I basically interpreted almost entirely correctly off the bat:

    LV: Daddy, I drew you a picture.

    Me: Oh, thank you, I love it. It has a rocket here, I see (note the spikes on the rocket and the little man piloting it, with some red… could be his console or his exploding head from…) and this… some kind of fish?

    LV: Yes. It’s a bat-fish. Flying in space.

    Me: Yes, of course. I see that. It’s great.

    Now I am thinking why I never imagined flying space bat-fishes in my stories. It’s such an obvious creature to encounter in any decent rocket adventure.

      A New Rendition…

      Of Old McDonald, by the little Viking. He was just hanging around the kitchen with me while I started the fire in the stove and he started singing to himself:

      Old McDonald, had a farm, yia, yia, yo,

      And on his farm he had a T-Rex, yia, yia, yo,

      And the T-Rex ate Old McDonald, yia, yia, yo!

      I never much liked the original, and you have to admit, his version of it makes for a far more interesting farm.

        Software Rot

        On SG Vox made a comment about how software is essentially not doing its primary business. Which is to just work. To do it’s function.

        I recently came across a piece of software that actually does what it’s supposed to, very well. And then I had an update. I downloaded it and it was… 1.2Mb.

        I knew then I had found a set of Dodo teeth embedded in lost Nazi gold: A software program done by people who actually understand how to program.

        As I said on SG, when I become world emperor, the highest programming language that will be permitted will be assembler. Anything above that will be considered witchcraft and the perpetrators will be burnt at the stake. Buggy software released before it is functional will result in mass hanging of the whole development team.

        I am also certain that if those things were implemented, within 20 years we would have spaceships able to travel to other stars.

        No, I am not kidding. We would.

        Programmers today don’t even have a baseline grasp of how computers work. They are basically like retarded children that have learn to pile up kitchen implements into shiny towers that look “impressive” to them, but have the functionality of a rabid rat having an epileptic fit in your underpants. While you are wearing them.

        I truly believe that it should be acceptable for programmers to be whipped when their code is the buggy, crappy, incoherent drivel it so often is.

        And no, I am sorry, there is no solving this problem without corporal punishment to those perpetrating the software crimes. It’s the only way.

          Indeed

          And this is why you can know without a doubt that NOVUS Ordo is NOT Catholicism, and why the only Christians left are Sedevacantists.

          Interestingly though, the Sedes are more like the Empire… down to a few but loyal “emperors” and their “henchmen” going out there and through their diligent work, recruiting and uplifting proper Catholics, even as they spread the truth to rebellious fools.

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          While we mere laymen, do the Lord’s work with heretics.

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