In 2013, my 15 month old daughter was kidnapped by her mother to Brazil. I did not sleep for a week, which people will tell you is impossible, but I assure you it is not —I looked it up, 11 days seems to be the limit before your body collapses or you lose your mind— and I then went to see a film called Cloud Atlas, without having any idea what it was about or caring. I was really just trying to distract my mind for a short span of time, because each second felt like an hour, each hour like a year, and each day like an eon. And the mental anguish was something I do not wish on anyone. However, as I sat in that theatre, not really paying attention to the film as such, more like simply letting it enter my brain without much of a filter, something happened. When I walked out of that cinema, I went for a walk along the Thames, as I lived in London at the time, and I had an experience I can never transmit to anyone else, and which I understand some will say was the result of my brain chemistry from lack of sleep (I never did any drugs or even get drunk in the entire 43 years I had reached), but the experience was what I call “subjectively objective”. That is, while I cannot demonstrate to anyone else the event was objectively real, I can do so to and for myself. For example, say you saw a leprechaun, it talked to you and gave you a pot of gold. But you had no witnesses. Anyone you told the story to would think you are crazy and the gold was probably the result of some illegal activity on your part. But once you rule out the idea of you having hallucinated the whole thing, and the fact you have some gold now you’d not have before, while you might not be able to ever prove leprechauns to anyone else, at least as far as you are concerned, the event is not in doubt.

At any rate, I had what I believe various mystics, and people throughout the ages would call a road to Damascus moment. What became absolutely clear to me during that experience was that God not only was real, but cared about every single one of us. I already knew the atheist concept of everything being just a random happenstance was nonsense, because I can do basic math, but I had, until that point, really only ever been a kind of Zen-Agnostic. The intelligence behind creation was evident, but not personal. My experience disabused me of that notion. The phrase God is Love was the closest way I could express this, and I also became aware that all of our physical reality is really a lower form or plane of existence, and all of it here is just a dim reflection of a higher plane of existence, which for want of a better word, I referred to as The Love World. Corny as that sounds. I then began to experiment with concepts such as prayer, gratefulness and so on, and at an empirical level I began to see patterns, and discerning statistical happenstances that could not be coincidence.

It took four years of obsessive study for me to narrow down which of the various religions and philosophies I had come across best described the situation and the God I had experienced. Some religions were immediately antithetical to it: Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, anything that treated children as sex objects, or women as mere property, was obviously the work of the enemy. Because that was also something that became obvious. In all of human affairs, I could now see the inevitable fingerprint of the eternal psychopath that hates us. Some humans serve him unwittingly, others knowingly, and others are merely the victims of him and his minions, but it is clear that this material universe, is indeed, under the dominion of Satan. And for the first time not only could I see this, but everything made a lot more sense.

I wrote two books concerning my eventual choice, which was to get baptised in the remnant of the Catholic Church that is left which still actually follows Catholic dogma: 1958 Sedevacantism, of the Totalist persuasion. The reality is that since the late 1700s, Freemasons (by many names) have tried to destroy the Catholic Church, and in large part they eventually succeeded. By 1958, Angelo Roncalli, a full blown Freemason, was invalidly elected to be “Pope” and from that time to today, only fake “Popes” have headed the Church, and they changed its doctrines, liturgy, Mass and dogma. In short, from 1958 on, what people think is the Catholic Church is in fact a hive of Satanic impostors that have inverted the dogma of the Church and continue to try and destroy it. Nevertheless, a remnant of the Church, attended to by the last few remaining valid and Apostolic Bishops and priests, remains, and their faith, and mine, remains the same one of the Crusaders that went to liberate Jerusalem and help the Schismatic Eastern “Orthodox” that were being overrun by Muslim invaders.

You can read a short book I wrote called BELIEVE! which has resulted in a lot of people (I stopped counting after about 100) returning to the true faith of Catholicism (1958 Sedevacantism), or a much longer one, Reclaiming the Catholic Church, which details why the Novus Ordo Church is firstly not Catholic at all, and secondly, and inversion of Catholicism, as well as answer all and any objection that people try to bring up concerning Sedevacantism. Most Protestant thinkers are binary thinkers, because Protestantism has only ever been the secularisation of Christianity in its 50,000 different branches; so it is difficult for a Protestant to understand the details of Catholicism, and they also simply flat out refuse to see the absurdity other position, since Catholics literally put the Bible together (when there were actual Popes and transubstantiation, a perpetually holy Virgin Mary, and so on, because it all happened about 300 years after Jesus ascended). As well as fail to acknowledge that there is no way to distinguish from what they call “God breathed” doctrine in the Bible (which was changed by Luther since he ripped out seven books, including James because it contradicted his nonsensical and barbaric “theology”) and what I call “human farted” doctrine. If every saint and Bishop and Priest and the Crusaders that stopped Islamic invasions, and the Knights of Malts that literally saved Christendom, were all wrong, and some possibly Jewish fake monk in the year 1500 was suddenly right, I’d like someone to show me incontrovertible proof of it. Because as far as I am concerned, Martin had about as much authority to pronounce what is and isn’t “valid” in the Bible as Bruce Jenner has to do it. i.e: zero.

At any rate, I am a Catholic, even though, for most of my life I had assumed Catholicism was an absurd concept and the Church of it filled with pedophiles. Instead I discovered that yes, those posing as the Catholic Church ARE indeed a bunch of disgusting impostors, often associated with child abuse, but the actual real Catholic Church has always seen that such “people” should be burnt at the stake.

Lastly, I often get asked how I can be Catholic, and yet believe and write as I do about Mars and Human origins, but I see absolutely no conflict whatsoever. Even in the 13th Century, Catholic thinkers had no difficulty conceptualising extraterrestrial life, as is evident in St. Aquinas’s Summa Theologica.