The sheer number of young men that I at first simply thought were rudderless, spineless, weaklings, is huge.
And perhaps many of them are. But I was also surprised by the enormous improvement and sensible life choices many of them make with only a little guidance. This post then, is like the postcard version of all you need to know to be a successful man.
And please understand that by “successful” I do not mean having great wealth or being famous or anything along those lines. Those things are incidental to the action and reality of being simply a man. In the order given below then, with mere bullet-points and little to no explanation of each of the points, except the last, here it is:
- First decide what kind of man you want to be. What attributes, what values, what skills, what is important to the man you want to be and what is not. You can take inspiration from anyone or anything, from comic book characters, historical figures, or people you know, but decide who you would like to be. And try not to limit yourself. Obviously if you are 5’ 4” you aren’t going to become 6’ 4”, but aside physical axioms, you can decide how honest, how proficient at a chosen skill and so on.
- Second: Work at it. From now until the day you die. If you feel at any point you have already achieved all you can in terms of who you want to be, you’re either lazy or aiming too low.
- Chose your own path. Yes you will make mistakes, but everyone does, and your own are far more tolerable than having to live with the consequences that arise from making someone else’s mistakes.
- Listen to everyone and ignore them all. Sounds contradicting but is really paradoxical. EVERYONE will give you free advice on EVERY aspect of your life. And most of it is bullshit. So, go ahead and ask or listen to it, but realise that in the end only YOU make the decisions in your life for everything in it, and that happens as a result of those —YOUR— decisions. No one else’s.
- Respect hierarchies that deserve respect. Ignore fake one.
- When it comes to women, remember that infinite topics are reduced to pithy sayings only as a result of large number statistics and generalities. And while that is true, generalities are still facts, just not every time; only most of the time. Most PUA stuff is advice given by people who think human beings are reducible to a set of mathematical variables. And who prey on the wallets of men. All you really need to know and do is simply to be a man, that is, your best self as per the advice above, and stick to your guns. Not unreasonably so, not eternally and unchangingly. Just most of the time in most of the ways.
On that last point especially, a recent conversation I had with my wife was quite endearing. I forget how we got onto the topic, I seem to recall it may have been to do with mentioning our son and life advice for the future and so on. In any case, my comment was simply along the lines that all a man needs to do is stick to his own road and way. Because women have no idea what they really want, and it changes with the weather, or the alignment of the planets and so on. So if you were to try and change your life in accordance with that, you will achieve the opposite kind of result you want and be miserable throughout it, and, so would the woman you are trying to please. That last being the key point almost all men today (and pretty much all women) get wrong, or don’t understand. She looked at me for a second or two, then smiled and kind of shyly carried on looking at me in that way she has. I always knew she was the right one. Long before she did.
And she told me a story about one of her relatives who as a young man really liked this girl, and when he told her and her other relatives about it, every one of the women present advised him to stay away from the girl, as they deemed she was trouble and up to no good and would get him in trouble too. She went on to say how this young man ignored all of them and carried on his pursuit of this girl. And now, years later they are not just married with children, but very happily so. And she said how glad she was he didn’t listen to any of their advice.
We talked about this too and two films come to mind, one is the one with Mel Gibson called What Women Want, which is where Mel gets the power to read the minds of women and in a scene, in a meeting, he reads the mind of what one of the women in the meeting is thinking, so he says exactly what she is thinking so as to get her to agree to whatever the issue was, and she immediately disagrees with him. I thought that was a brilliant aspect of the female mind well-explained.
Another, film, which we recently watched for the second time actually, as we had forgotten about it, is called About Time and is possibly one of the best films I have ever seen. So if you don’t want a spoiler, skip the next paragraph in Italic below this one.
In it, the main character wants to get with this girl and he has the power to travel back in his own timeline. He finally gets the nerve to ask the girl about being with him on the last day of her holidays with his family, and she says, it’s too late now, he should have made his move earlier. So he goes back in time and makes his move earlier and she says they should wait and he should ask her on the last day of her holidays.
Once again, a perfect exposition of how the female mind actually works. Because it has very little to do with linear logic or keeping your word, or being honest and direct. A woman may want to do all of these things, but… and there is always a but… her mood might change, her hormones may be out of balance, the Moon may be full that night and make her euphoric or morose. It’s not even that they mean to lie or be deceptive or inconsistent. A feminine woman will genuinely want to be a good girl, but will still screw this up regularly. And as long as those screw ups are within a certain realm of “passable” a man will forgive them, because from time to time, his life choices for them both will go via forest animal tracks instead of good, safe, highways, and she will forgive him those too.
The worst women, of course, will calculatingly use the fact they are a woman to put into action the very worst, nefarious schemes they planned from the start, then act the poor hormonal victim, but then, narcissists of either sex are a complete nightmare, and we are discussing here non-demonic types of human beings.
The point is that a man should first and foremost be himself. And as the ancient oracle to Delphi stated (a place I visited, by the way) the first rule for a man, is to know himself.
Know who you are. Know who you want to be. Know what you have done and are doing to get there, and what you will keep on doing until you do get there, and then improve on it, to the end of your days.
Now, a man that is himself, that knows who he is and why, and that has chosen to be as he is, consciously —not merely being the result of the hazards and parenting and trauma that invariably shapes all our lives— well, such a man will not veer his path for the mere whimsy of some woman. No matter how pretty she is, or how good in bed, or what promises she makes him. A man needs to, first and foremost, alter his path in the ocean he sails only as a result of his own choices and his own decisions.
Which is not to say he does not consider anyone else or ignores all advice or runs roughshod over the wishes and dreams and desires of his woman or other loved ones. It simply means exactly what I wrote, no more and no less. If you do veer the path for your woman in some way, let it be because YOU decided to do so. YOU calculated the risks and the losses and the gains. YOU decided this move was the best move, and YOU and only YOU will be to blame if it is the wrong move. Because to try and hold your woman to account for YOUR decisions is almost entirely nonsensical, weak, and fruitless.
Of course, YOU will be held responsible by her, for every stupid, weak, bad, decision SHE made that turned out badly. And your reminding her that if she believes the feminine imperative that women have their own agency in reality (the only actual fact of feminist theory, arguable though it is) then her mistakes are hers and hers alone, will not endear her to you (I know, it’s a shocking surprise!). Nor will explaining that if she does reject that feminine imperative, well, then, she should just go along with whatever her husband says and if and when some of his decisions turn out badly, she should be nurturingly understanding and remember all the good decisions he made for her and how the overall total (hopefully!) balances out far more in the positive than the negative.
The point is that ultimately, for all human beings, making your own choices and taking the responsibility that goes with it is your just lot in life. Few human beings live this way though, of either sex. Men generally are statistically a lot better at it than women though. And those men that live this way may have good or bad lives, but for the most part, they at least are at peace with themselves.
If you find a woman that lives this way, and she is happy with you, then marry her. It won’t mean she will not do female things in that infuriatingly chaotic female way. She will. Because she’s a woman. But if she also happens to be the type that in time or at least when faced with the cold facts, realises her own faults and admits them (at least to you and you alone) then, know you have with you an uncommon human being, and as far as women go, practically a unicorn.
And of course, it also helps if you are learned enough in mythology, to know how to guide unicorns to pleasant meadows where they might find fresh water to drink. And then they might choose to do so. While you patiently wait along the shore.
The morons reading this that will assume the usual (me big, bad, patriarchal, misogynist, chauvinist pig and woman, poor victims always and regardless, with all agency but no responsibility whatsoever) are, as I have always said, irrelevant human wreckage, so, as always, don’t just ignore them, shun them from your life, for they are a pestilence and bring nothing good to your life.
Those that are merely severely brainwashed by the modern zeitgeist (and who isn’t on some level) simply need to see, observe, learn and notice in their own lives, that women are happier when able to rely on their man to guide them both through life, with them helping and offering their perspective, but being comfortable letting him “drive” so to speak.
Of course, this is true when the man is actually a man, and not some semblance of a caricature, either being overly “dominant” or rather, arrogant, in an endeavour to cover up his lack of ability/knowledge/status/power/big dick energy/whatever.
And remember that I always make a distinction between an arrogant man (someone who says and/or thinks he can, when he actually can’t) and what in Italian is known as superbo which is a man that says he can, and he can. In short, someone who is not humble, (or at least apparently not humble at first impact or exterior appearance) but not a fake either.
The worst type of “man” is the faker who takes on the airs of a competent and self-conscious man (as in conscious of himself, not as in shy), while being an actual empty shell inside. Such men might fool a woman initially, but bring only misery. While an actually competent man, may or may not land the woman of his dreams, but pretty much any woman that is into him, would be generally happy with him if he is into her too.
But all these more detailed explanation and imaging of overall concept still boil down to basically just one thing:
Be who you choose to be, be consistent with it, and make your way in it. The rest, more or less, will follow and happen as it does and perhaps needs to. And the right woman for you will, indeed, not only follow in your path, she will help beautify it.
Life on this Earth can be very hard, and likely to get harder. Picking the right man or woman to make children with and go through it together is one of the things that makes it absolutely worthwhile. So choose carefully… but first…
Know yourself.
Surviving WW3 Long Term
On the basis of the recent poll I got this request:
Something Else – How to Survive Long Term in a WWIII Scenario for a married man with young children (Shelter, Food & Water, Surviving extreme Heat/Cold, Defense, How to keep your wife and children in good spirits, Not drawing attention to yourself, etc.)
It’s a pretty comprehensive question and an entire book could be written about each of the topics, so my reply will necessarily be brief and somewhat generic, but hopefully still specific enough to make a difference.
Good Spirits
Also known as Morale, may be the most important factor of all. It certainly tends to be in most conflicts throughout human history.
You should be aware of this, especially for your wife and children more than other factors. Consider: If you move to rural buttfuck-of-nowhere intersection and Hillbilly country, you might feel wholly relaxed that no one will waste a nuke or military to come steal your 3 goats and 15 chickens. However, your wife might miss things like actual shops where you buy food instead of have to skin and gut whatever you shot for dinner. She might even like to get a coffee at a cafe once in a while, frivolous degenerate that she is (joke! That’s a JOKE!). The rugged life of an off grid pepper that has his own bomb-shelter may be the stuff of manly dreams and boyhood joy, but generally is not seen in the same light by the gentler sex. So discuss these things and make sure everyone is clear on the difficulty and/or changes of lifestyle. Are there women out there that would love this life-style, sure. But they are a minority. And almost everyone likes hot water and indoor plumbing, and not freezing in winter. So, read my 4 part series on taking on clown world and winning (use the search me button on the right). If you do, you will see that ideally you need to pick your place on the base of the geography you want to have ideally. Although, for most people that is already set, it is not too late to make the jump now (it is likely to be more expensive if you want to do it quickly, as always). The factors affecting morale are endless, and even more so for women, so it is difficult to give sound advice to all. One lady I spoke to was having trouble being an hour or so away from her family in what is still a pretty civilised area of a very urban country. She had not been living further from her parents than a few minutes and the change was a shock. The rural area she was in was not remote by any means but felt like it to her and feeling isolated with small children made her days feel like an interminable Groundhog Day. So you need to consider these things and take them into account.
Unlike men, most women will not be happy with an ideally fortified home in an ideal rural area, with a secure bomb shelter under the house, gun ports and plenty of weapons and stock-piles of ammo, food and clean water. Unless you have a wife like the one of the main guns-ho guy in the Tremor Films, what would seem to be ideal to a man is rarely ideal to a woman. She wants mani-pedi and spa locations nearby, a good hairdressers, nice friends to gossip and laugh with about the goings on in the town and their respective husbands and girlfriend’s love affairs and so on. Trivial nonsense that doesn’t matter in a hot war zone? You bet.
On the up-side, it’s mostly because women like these things that we don’t live in a permanent hot war zone, for the most part. Because we men tend to want to please them. And do they appreciate our efforts to give them a poisonous Starbucks on every corner in lieu of bashing irritating neighbours over the head with a nicely shaped stick? Not even a Thank you, kind Sir, I tell you. It’s just the way they are. No point getting upset about it.
So, the HOW you ensure good morale with your wife, is a giant minefield that no one on the internet can possibly navigate fully for you. I can only tell you to not ignore it, prepare for it, prepare her for it and consider that the things that are so significant to you that they may never even have entered your head all your life, might be extremely important for her. After all… she doesn’t even thing about Rome daily!
Women are primarily solipsistic, so if they experience some discomfort, the Universe is out of whack and God should stop and make it right (through you mostly) and if He (you) don’t, then, you must be the problem. By and large. Your 14 hour days stacking wood for winter, pondering how to build a biological septic tank and your own solar panels, really are not as interesting to her as you would expect of any normal person.
You need to have a very deep connection based on honesty with your wife in order to navigate this well. And keep in mind off-grid farming is brutally hard. And even harder with small children to look after. So, building your community, having one that is active and fun and good is very helpful. Having little friends for your children is also very helpful.
That all said, I sincerely hope that your wife is good natured enough to be the kind of person that can read this entry and laugh, in unadmitted generic agreement with my caricatures. And more importantly, that she is smart and logical and objective enough, to realise that if and when the SHTF, she better be ready to take up a shovel and dig the dirt with you, and at minimum reload the rifles while you hold off the zombies, and preferably shoot some of them herself. How you find/foster/cultivate/generate that delicate balance of manicured nails, pretty, sexy dresses and chocahinos with friends with the realities of having your entrenched fall-back positions for the zombie apocalypse is a puzzle you need to figure out on your own. But figuring it out is VERY important, so don’t ignore it.
Children can generally be kept in good spirits by simply spending time playing with them and teaching them things in good order. Which of course takes up a lot of time, but our children (the little ones) are learning from us all the time and actually enjoy being helpful. The two older ones may need ye old dad’s foot in the backside to motivate them, because they were raised outside of functional family structures, unfortunately, but they are definitely improving and will get there soon enough, and when they do the sense of achievement for them and us both is also an awesome feeling to have. So make the entire concept of having good morale a game you enjoy instead of a chore you dread.
Not Drawing Attention to Yourself
Better than that is being thought of well by your neighbours and community. Help the people near you and be friendly and genuinely a good guy. Of course, if and when the SHTF they will also all come looking to you for help, so you need to balance that. For me that is relatively easy. I am a misanthrope by nature and don’t like people much as a rule, but I am polite and friendly to everyone, until they give me reason not to be, then there is no mistaking who I am and what kind of level of “force” I can bring to bear if required. Generally, if people realise you’re a nice guy but have no hesitation in turning heads of bad guys into pink clouds at the drop of a hat, you get the right balance of helpful (and good) friends, and respectful strangers. The down side is that if and when they DO get organised to come for you, they will actually be a force that is organised and to be reckoned with. But that is my way, because it comes naturally to me. You need to find your own natural way and work your strengths and better your weaknesses. I am not particularly worried about organised roaming gangs of zombies, because if and when it comes to that, there probably isn’t a worse guy to go after in a radius that probably reaches the nearest army base. Even so, I have made good friends where I live and will help my neighbours if I can or when needed and they do the same in return.
Shelter, Heat and Cold
Obviously, your primary home needs to be suitable for wherever you have chosen (or are forced) to live. I tried to pick a place that is not too extreme one way or the other, but in reality, it gets snow in winter (which will probably only increase over time) and is a bit too hot in summer with a lot of attendant bugs in all seasons (flies and mosquitoes in summer and stink bugs in winter). If the weather changes drastically here, a greenhouse will become a requirement (and I plan to have one anyway at some point) and livestock might require better shelter, but your primary shelter and provisions for heating in cold climate is obviously a priority that needs to be faced and that you need to be ready to address in a grid down situation. If not, I suggest you move! It is a lot easier to survive hot places than cold ones. I have plenty of wood to last me literally years and I installed a large wood stove that can heat the whole house and also be used for cooking (not as quickly as the gas stove, but in an emergency, the house remains liable and we can still cook food even without electricity or gas).
The next big item if electrical independence. the easiest way to have some of this is to have a generator and some fuel set aside. It is however a temporary and not a long-term solution. You eventually want to get at least enough solar panels to run your fridge and a couple of lights and at least one or two power tools at a time.
My gasifier project was meant to do this by providing wood to fuel a gasifier that could power a generator, meaning I would not have to rely on petrol. That project, however, has so far been a failure. Which is not to say it is impossible, only that the effort required to make it work in the first place is a lot more than I thought, and more importantly, the effort required to keep it functional if you get it working might be even an order of magnitude higher. That said, I still want to provide value to the people that supported the project, so I am looking at alternatives ways to at least give them something that might be of use or interest for them.
Conclusions
Overall, the main issues are to create a home that is self-sufficient in terms of the basics: Water, heating, food, electricity, and sewage processing.
If you have achieved that, 90% of your problems are taken care of. After that it’s just being able to maintain and even improve on things as you go and preparing with better shelter, better community engagement, better weapons, better food stockpiling and even alternatives to using cash and especially digital money. The economy WILL collapse at some point, it’s not an if, but a when, and when it does desperation will drive people to accept whatever draconian slavery will be imposed on them. The whole point is for you to be able to survive completely apart from that, and in turn be able to inspire and help others near you do the same.
If you saw the recent (2020) series based on the Brave New World of Aldus Huxley (and with he same name) you want to be one of those “troglodytes” living outside of the “utopic” city. And you certainly don’t want to end up caught by them and influenced and ultimately caged by them in any way. Ultimately, you want to be able to roam free and either KEEP them all locked up in their cities, or have their cities crumble to dust with the architects of them buried under them.
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By G | 31 October 2023 | Posted in Farming Life, Increasing Happiness, Relationships, Relationships, Social Commentary, StCZA - Module 0, StCZA - Q.O.R.G., Zombie Apocalypse