The Mouse

So this morning me and the boy (4) and the girl (3) were up early. After I gave them some breakfast they were off outside, playing on the jumpoline as the girl has called it since she was 2, and then running around outside the forest. I got busy inside for a couple of hours and then realised that aside from the wife and girls still being asleep, I hadn’t heard from the other two in a while. So I went out to see what they were up to and they were sitting on the large tree I downed over a year ago talking and playing. I went back in. After a while I heard the little one calling her mom from our bedroom so I went in and as soon as she saw me her little smile with dimple came up and she said “Dedde!” which is how she says Daddy. A few hugs and kisses later and I thought I’d take her out to see her brother and sister.

As I get near I see the boy is holding a dead mouse in his hand. Not by the tail or anything, but fully in his grasp as one might hold a live mouse gently.

Me: What you got there boy?

B: A mouse. Cali (the cat) chased and killed it.

G: Yeah. We like the mouse.

Me: Right, well, it’s dead and kind of gross, how about we bury it?

B and G together: NOOOO!

Me: Right…let me take a picture for your mom, which I am sure will be delighted by this little development.

B: (Poses with the dead mouse, making silly faces, he literally is like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes it’s almost impossible to take a photograph without him making an idiot face. It’s absolutely done on purpose and even when he pretends to stay still he will freak it at the last second just as you take the shot) after a few attempts…

G: I had the mouse first!

Me: Of course, you want a picture too… (to the boy) give her the dead rat, will you?

G: (takes dead mouse, ecstatically happy and poses with it, by putting it against her cheek and smiling fetchingly.)

Me: No! What are you doing, that’s disgusting… no. Stop. (She’s switching hands…and cheek) that’s… ok, look, I took the picture, see, now stop will you. Ok guys, I think we should go bury it now…

G and B: NOooo!

G: I love it and I like going on the jumpoline with it! It’s so funny the way it bounces. (Smiling and laughing happily. Dead rat still held tightly in her little fist.)

Me: (thinking: WTF kind of little psychopaths have we generated here?! No wait… what we?? That’s not my side of the DNA! That’s the wife’s side!) You… wait… you went on the jumpoline with the dead mouse?

Both: Yes! (Excitedly and happy)

Me: (ugh!) right… I’m going to see if your mother is awake.

*** Later ***

After I showed the wife the video of her little darlings discussing dead mouse trampoline projections.

Wife: (disgusted look on her face) So where is the mouse now?

Me: Probably drying out on the trampoline.

Wife: (horrified) What?!? You left it with them?

Me: (shrugging) They’d had it with them for a couple of hours and had already trampolined with it. What would have been the rationale really? It just seemed mean at that point to take it away from them.

Wife: You’re all wrong in the head. All of you.

*** Later ***

Me: Hey boy, don’t leave the rat drying on the trampoline ok?

B: (Gets dead mouse) Okay.

Me: It’s time to really get rid of that dead mouse you know?

B and G: (They look a little sadly at the dead mouse. Then at me.)

Me: okay?

B and G: (both nod silently. It’s a serious moment. The dignity of death and all that. The final goodbye.)

Me: Okay, you can put him in there (pointing to a rock on the edge of a small retaining wall holding back part of the forest)

B: (Cocks arm right back and flings the dead rat high and deep into the overgrowth. Looks at me meaningfully for approval.)

Me: … uh… okay I guess.

B and G: (they both nod and go back inside. On the way in, the girl says:) We really liked the dead rat you know daddy.

Me: Yes darling, you loved his little dead body very well.

And everyone was happy. The End.

Tags: Farming Life, the kurgan

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