What I expect Russia *may* do. Soon(ish).

The first point to understand about Russian tactics is that they are almost invariably asymmetrical and —from a Western perspective at least— considered to be prime examples of “out of the box” or “lateral” thinking.

The reality is that Russians are among the most pragmatic people on Earth as a culture. They suffered nearly a century of dystopically and absurdist lies from their own government, and learnt to adapt to this surreality by countering it with whatever worked at a practical level to keep them alive and one step ahead of the murderous bureaucracy.

Such murderous bureaucracy now infects the West at levels that would have made the Soviet rulers blush with shame.

So, in practical terms, what does this mean?

In order to explain this in terms even our American friends might understand, Russia is basically the skinny foreign kid that was bullied for a while by an obese transvestite with blue hair. The natural instinct on a fair playing field is that the skinny kid’s best outcome would derive from picking up a brick and grafting it to side of the head of the freak. Preferably skilfully enough to not outright kill the fat tranny, but to do enough damage it’s not going to be soon forgotten. And that would indeed work best… except… the school they are in is an absurdist one where most of the other kids are at least a bit fat. And even if not, most of the popular kids paint their hair weird colours.

So the skinny kid decided to play it smart and suffer the bullying for a couple of years. Just taking shots and getting his lunch money stolen and just carrying on as best he can. Always being dignified and just dusting himself off and getting up again after a beating, with tears on his face maybe, but no whining to teachers. After a while most of the school at least sympathises a bit with the skinny kid. So when the skinny kid starts to give some push back, while the “popular” “consensus” is supposedly against this “rude foreigner”, secretly, a lot of the smaller, non-obese, non-hair-painted-weird-colours kids have a secret weak spot for the skinny underdog.

The fat tranny enlists everyone to bully the skinny kid more, but almost all of them —except for super-gay and floppy-haired Just-in Shitwater, from Cucknada, and whoever the fuck runs Australia and New Zealand— only do a token form of bullyism. You know, throw sand from the sidelines. Shout a few insults, but don’t actively get too close. That skinny kid has started punching back and in truth they are soft and scared.

So… what is the skinny kid to do?

Carry on letting the fat tranny and his token gay friends bully him still (even if less successfully than they’d like)?

What would you do to end the bullying?

Now, I dunno about you, but I know what I would do. And I’m fairly sure I know what a skinny Russian kid would do. We think pretty similarly me and Russians. Do what works.

He’d wait. And then he’d pick up that brick. And when the moment is right, he would fuck the fat tranny up bad enough to put him in hospital for 2 weeks and leave his face permanently a bit different, what with the stitches and missing teeth and broken jaw.

And then for good measure, he might also slap a few of the gay friends of the fat tranny upside the head and make them shit their pants. Physically. In public. While they bleed and cry on the ground.

And what would happen after that? Oh the school authorities would be appalled. Appalled and shocked! And then, they would make sure no bullying happens anymore. Because that skinny Russian kid? He has a skinny, humble looking father. But that father came to school, right after his son hospitalised fat tranny and a couple of his gay friends, and just walked into the principal’s office and said:

“Hi. My name Ivan. I’m father of Vitaly…”

“Ah yes, good, your son…”

“No. Shut fuck up or I gut you with my fish knife *flick* (fish knife comes out). You listen very well now. My son. No more bullying of him. Or I come to your house, shoot your dog, fuck your fat wife, for which she would thank me, and THEN I gut you with my fish knife. You understand, fat fuck?”

And the principal, in that moment knows Ivan is not kidding. He sees the fish knife brand too. It’s called Hypersonic Nuclear Option. Long for a brand name but it’s all neatly etched on the shining blade.

So. I would NOT be surprised if Zelensky’s office (wherever it is, in whichever country) suddenly turns to hot dust. And maybe a few American advisors or politicians suddenly also die of suddenly.

It may be a while yet. But if this nonsense doesn’t end soon (it won’t) that’s my best guess. I don’t know the timeline and I could be way off, but I would say sometime this year.

I know popcorn is mostly genetically modified now, but my wife makes the best ham and cheese sandwiches and a lovely cup of tea.

I hope I can get a nice rocking chair to view it all from my porch before the main event.

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